


What You've Lost

by AnAntTM



Category: Persona 3
Genre: October 4th, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-07-18 14:00:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16119929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnAntTM/pseuds/AnAntTM
Summary: Following the events of October 4th, Akihiko pays one final visit to his old friend to say his goodbyes.





	What You've Lost

It had been a day already… or had it been? Everything had felt like a blur since that day; moving too fast, and too soon for him to process it. Not even the funeral service had seemed like something that really happened.

 

In fact, he almost convinced himself it had all been a dream; some dark and twisted nightmare that he’d had. All he had to do was pinch himself to wake up and! … everything would stay the same. That was nothing but a child’s foolish dream to even consider.

 

But… he had to see him. One last time. A final goodbye.

 

It was after hours now, and he should have been attending boxing practice. But that didn’t matter to him at the time… what good would it have done him anyway?

 

Making his way into the gym auditorium, he found the door unlocked. No one was inside, except the distant sounds of a janitor cleaning up the bathrooms. The two of them were alone.

 

Taking a deep breath, Akihiko walked toward the display made in Shinjiro’s honor; it had a white, silky design. Scattered all about were vases filled with flowers that had been designed by the Flower Club. Ha… Shinji would’ve hated that. It would’ve been all too ‘frilly’ and ‘bright’ or him, or something.

 

But there, right in the center, was a picture of Shinjiro. He had that same, ‘fuck the world’ expression on his face. The man had a photogenic face, it seemed.

 

Climbing up onto the stage, where the display had all been set up, Akihiko looked up at his friend. His voice was a bit more quiet than usual; a notice somber tone had taken the place of his usual, nonchalant demeanor.

 

“Yo.”

 

“I had the usual for lunch… Ramen tastes a lot better when you’re cutting class… Make sure you invite me next time.” That was his attempt at telling a joke, to lighten the mood almost… for his own sake. He even tried to smile, letting out a small chuckle but it just wasn’t the same. It wouldn’t be the same… not anymore.

 

… He just couldn’t face that idea. He turned his back to Shinji, shaking his head in refusal.

 

“Say something, will ya? Why are you always like that? You’re so stubborn… Put yourself in my shoes for a change.”

 

Turning back around, his somber tone had… worsened. It was very much unlike his usual demeanor, but he just couldn’t help himself anymore.

 

“… You think it’s the other way around, huh? I guess you’re right… I was too obsessed with power… Ever since I lost Miki, that’s all I’ve cared about… I thought that if I was strong enough, I could protect anyone…”

 

“But, I was wrong… And now, you’re gone too… I’m such an idiot.” Unable to fully process his emotions, Akihiko punched the table of the display as hard as he could… again and again. It hurt him, but it didn’t hurt worse than the pain he was feeling already. He just wanted /something/ else to be the source, so he could feel like anything more than a failure… By now he was blinking back tears. Try as he might, one or two slid down his face. His voice was more than shaky, it was almost cracking in places.

 

“In battle, there’s always a chance of dying… I knew that! But… I was so focused on fighting that I didn’t notice anything else! It didn’t matter how tough I was! Look what happened!”

 

Akihiko couldn’t take it anymore, he felt like he was about to collapse; his emotions were clawing at him from the inside, pulling him apart. He had to let it out, to let the world know about his pain. In a moment of weakness, almost reminiscent of his childhood, Akihiko fell to his knees and buried his face atop the table. What /good/ were these powers, if he couldn’t save /anyone/? He lost a friend… no. He lost a brother last night, and it killed him. A loud scream of agony echoed throughout the empty hall… it was all that he could hear now.

 

After what felt like an eternity of wallowing in his anguish, his own self-pity, Akihiko blew his nose before raising his head up. His voice was still shaky, almost as if he could burst into tears yet again… he just felt so weak, powerless. How could he protect anyone, if he couldn’t have saved those closest to him…?

 

And yet…

 

“… Yeah, I know… Crying won’t change anything, will it…?” Blowing his nose once again, followed by a deep breath to compose himself, Akihiko nodded. He couldn’t just run away from this problem and abandon Shinji’s dying wish just like that. He /wasn’t/ powerless… and he was going to show that to everyone, himself most of all.

 

“Alright, Shinji… You watch from there with Miki. I still have things to do, right?” There was newfound confidence and resolve in his tone; like his worries had gone away. Shinji was gone, but that didn’t mean a part of him wasn’t still inside of Akihiko. Brothers until the end.

 

Closing his eyes, for moment a small smirk appeared on his expression. It felt as if… something inside of himself had changed; it was a liberating feeling, as if he’d just unleashed some hidden power. The resolution in Akihiko’s heart has awakened a new Persona… Polydeuces has given rise to Caesar! This was the power he is going to use to protect everyone.

 

“I know that much. I can’t carry this guilt forever… I’m getting tired of it.” Picking up his coat, Akihiko walked out of the gym. He was going to live for all three of them.


End file.
